The Perfect Way To Get You Buzzed According To The Zodiac

Don't waste your time sipping the routine gin and tonic! Get the perfect summer buzz with cocktails handcrafted for you, by your horoscope.

Words by Angie Jachniw
June 13th, 2018

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Best known for their dynamic and dual-minded personalities, the Gemini can be your best friend, or worst enemy. In any case, they’re layered with gentle affection and the desire to have fun. Easily bored by dim-witted conversation, Geminis pride themselves on the intellectual connections they share amongst friends. Unlike their fellow Leo, Geminis don’t necessarily crave being the centre of attention.

Instead, they’d much rather share an intimate night with curious-minded contemporaries, either on the town or at home. To encapsulate the duality of the Gemini, a mocktail-turned cocktail is the perfect compromise. Tasteful and broadly enjoyed with or without the alcohol, this recipe is approved by Geminis and non-Geminis alike.

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Cancer (June 21- July 22): Almost too intuitive for their own good, the Cancer is infamous for her ability to read the mood in a room where no one’s talking. This makes Cancer an incredible friend and deathly loyal to those of like-mindedness; however, they typically struggle in large social settings. Because of their seemingly strong intuition, Cancer’s loathe the modest small talk other signs seem to crave. Their ideal night is a casual hangout with people of the inner-circle, who share their cynical and otherwise preeminent sense of humour. So, the perfect cocktail for the instinctual crab with a wicked sparkle? The classic Dark n’ Stormy, which combines the light refreshment of ginger beer with a sort of dark rum and muddled lime. Refreshingly acidic—sounds about right!

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Leo (July 23- August 22): Leos are amongst the most bold and creative of the signs, jumping at any opportunity to swoon their guests with their theatrical hospitality. While they appreciate life’s luxuries, they ultimately feel most at home in the company of their closest friends. Their attractive and natural-born leadership makes them candidates for the perfect hostess, however, they’re notorious for succumbing to occasional laziness. In this twist on an age-old classic, the Pimms Slushie is a magical merriment of flamboyance and convenience. Not only will this sweet treat leave you wanting more but you’ll be begging for the recipe on your way out the door!

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Virgo (August 23-Sept 22): Practical thinker-Virgo is amongst the top-quality party planning zodiacs. They are detail oriented and value big-picture thinking, which ultimately helps them feel in control of their daily responsibilities. Staying atop their game is important, and their dedication to living healthily projects on the relationships they maintain. Virgos value, above all else, reliability and conscientiousness and embody the kind of person they, in turn, allow into their lives.

At a Virgo party, you can guarantee all decorative elements to be thought out— as they keep a noticeably meticulous pulse on details. Not only will you share in the quality company they keep, but you can also bet your Virgo hostess pre-made the cocktails to be shared at your own discretion. For any Virgo party, a communal, “serve-as-you-go” vessel is key. Not only does it implement control for their guests, but it allows them to prepare in advance. This margarita recipe is a twist on a fan favourite and can easily be made a day or two in advance, and then refrigerated!

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Libra (Sept. 23- Oct. 22): Libras are notorious for their gracious and diplomatic nature, making them masters at approaching situations with elevated poise and tactfulness. In any case, the Libra strives to maintain a harmonious balance of agreement and justice within their work and personal lives, as conflict is one of their biggest weaknesses.

Their palate appreciates flavours that carry the same depth and sophistication the Libra so proudly strives to uphold, making this summer cocktail the perfect guest at any Libra soiree. Conveniently named “The Diplomat”, this martini leaves little to be questioned. With multi-faceted layers of flavour, Libras are sure to appreciate the refreshing taste of cucumber, lime juice and elderflower.

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Scorpio (Oct 23- Nov 21): Spirited with controversy and confidence, all Scorpios share a lust for making a statement. They are not ones to shy away from a debate, and especially if it’s their authenticity in question. The Scorpio can often be misunderstood by colleagues outside of their inner circle, as most Scorpios frequently give off an unapproachably brusque first impression. However, those lucky enough to fracture the Scorpio’s rigid exterior can attest to their fierce loyalty and profuse enthusiasm.

In honour of this sign’s prickly persona, the perfect summer cocktail is consequently named after a deliciously misleading fruit, the prickly pear. This cocktail has all the complex layers of Scorpio’s personality, with a refreshingly tart bite at the end that will remind you exactly of the Scorpio you’re cheers-ing to!

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Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21): Though the Sagittarius is in good company with other natural born leaders, like Aries and Leo, they’re often characterised by their self-assured independence. Unlike the others, Sagittarius don’t crave limelight or like entertaining. Instead, they prefer to indulge in self-investments; impressive literature, accredited documentaries and even taking trips alone. Perhaps this is due to the Sagittarius’ aptitude to speak too truthfully; they admittedly pride themselves on their deliberate, yet sometimes uninvited, honesty.

However, this isn’t to say a Sagittarius makes bad for companionship; in fact, their lack of required reassurance makes them some of the most low-maintenance and steadfast friends to have! Alas, while the Sag may not be inviting an impressive guest list over for drinks, they’re certain to whip up a cocktail for themselves to unwind before cracking open their beloved Harper Lee novel. This coffee martini is the perfect combination of ambition and sophistication, with the compliment of espresso any Sag will appreciate!

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Capricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19): Often confused with Taurus, Capricorns are in fact the zodiac’s most stubborn sign. Their hard work and tenacity are infectious and often trickle into their personal lives, yielding them the picturesque homes and workspaces other signs envy. For Capricorns, everything is designed to have a place—whether that be a book on their bookshelf, or a person in their corporate hierarchy. Tradition and order are highly revered, especially when it comes to party planning. Capricorns will always go the extra mile to please their guests with an impressively curated array of hors d’oeuvres, cocktail menu and catering.

The “I get what I want” mentality of the Capricorn makes her the perfect host, for when she sees a vision for inspiration, she goes the extra mile to achieve it. The trick to finding the perfect summer cocktail for the Capricorn is to not limit her to just one—most likely because her idea of “having a drink at home” is instead a premeditated party with twenty of her favourite girls. However, the savviness of the Capricorn will not go unnoticed when she develops an entire cocktail menu out of just three or four ingredients. Impressive and efficient, just like your favourite Capricorn.

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Aquarius (Jan 20- Feb 18): Aquarians often take on two personalities, each hugely opposing the other. For some, being Aquarian renders them notably energetic and boisterous, securing their spot on any prevalent guest list within their social sphere. For their counter, this shyer Aquarian tends to remain reserved amongst their colleagues, preferring quiet nights at home with friends. In either instance, one trait remains integral to the Aquarius reputation: imagination. This keyword bonds both duelling personalities, proving them influential thinkers and creators amongst those around them. Like the Gemini, this sign’s perfect cocktail is something open to interpretation. Instead of the classic martini or upscale Manhattan, a layered sangria is best suited for their summer gatherings. Red wine, sweet juices and abundant fruit leave optimal room for innovation while staying true to the classic Aquarius at heart.

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Pisces (Feb 19-March 20): Opposite their party-planning zodiacs, Virgo and Leo, Pisces prefer to be the quiet and empathetic conversationalist making connections at someone else’s soiree. They are of the most versatile signs in the way that their indigenous intuition can be found in any of their variations—creative musicians and cautionary delegates alike. While they are soft by nature, they take pleasure in life’s most compassionate indulgences: art, music, romance. However, no matter the hobby, Pisces are known for baring both heart and soul. For the Pisces, simple interactions can be turned into the most beautiful.

Perhaps that makes their perfect summer cocktail something easily made and conveniently portable—to a beachside picnic with their lover, maybe? Prepared in advance, this spin on a red-wine refresher is the perfect partner for any Pisces picnic!

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Aries (March 21- April 19): True trailblazers, Aries are widely known for their hospitable warmness and impulsive optimism. They shine brightest when tasked with reinventing the wheel, as their true weaknesses show during routine repetition. For the zodiac’s pioneer, a perfect cocktail is a seamless compilation of all things Aries: refined but renovated, timeless and classic. This elevated mojito recipe calls upon all the typical fares, such as mint, lime and white rum; however, its introduction of a grapefruit granita packs this mojito with an extra punch, and extra flavour. For any invitee to an Aries party, watch out! Not only will their drinks be refreshing and new, they’ll have you feeling buzzed before you know it!

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Taurus (April 20- May 20): Commonly mistaken as the zodiac’s most stubborn sign, the Taurus is in fact upon the contrary. While they are indeed the most hard-working, narrowminded-ness is futile to their success. Creative collaboration is what motivates the bull, as they are quick in acknowledging any argument from their opponents point-of-view—though, they always remain steadfast in their intentions. This worldly sign takes pleasure in materializing their triumphs into tokens of achievement, unabashedly indulging in life’s finer things. In this case, no simple Cosmopolitan will satisfy the high-class taste of the Taurus. Instead, this Russian Qualude boasts flavours of coffee, hazelnut and vodka—rich and effective, just how the Taurus likes it!

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